Mila – Three Months

In some ways, Mila’s birth feels like it was a million years ago and in other ways I feel like it just happened yesterday. It’s crazy that my little baby is no longer a newborn and is a big old baby now.  I will never forget the first time I met her as she was floppily placed onto my chest after 36 hours of labor.  I was so afraid that it would take me a long time to love her as I loved Maxwell, because I could never imagine loving another human the way I love him.  But then somehow the space in your heart just multiplies, and the feelings of love for him never being diminished while a new space for her just grows and grows more every day.

Mila is a champion breast feeder and night sleeper. Unless she’s in a stroller or in her car seat, she usually only has a few cat naps during the day. 

When she’s awake, she wants to be entertained and loves to be held ALL THE TIME.  Maxwell always enjoyed being held, but she expects more during the daytime for sure.  Maybe a byproduct of her breastfeeding when Maxwell didn’t, or maybe it’s just a part of her personality.  In either case, it’s really difficult not to hold her when she smiles, laughs and “coos” and “goos” come at me.  This little girl has so much to say, and constantly tries to verbalize new sounds and mimic the sounds she hears from her family.  Mila loves stroller rides while mommy runs, and already laughs at her big brother. She has gone on her very first plane ride, visited mommy at work, and has already met Pluto at Disney World.

With all of the attention she summons during the day, she equally rewards at night. Mila started sleeping for up to five or six hour stretches when she was around eight weeks old, and with a few feedings in between she will sleep up to twelve hours.  Every night Mila gets a warm bath and has her last feeding of the night in my bed with the lights low, and even if she’s not yet asleep when she’s done eating, I can usually put her in the bassinet in our bedroom and she will lay there quietly until she falls asleep.  Maxwell was less maintenance during the day than Mila, but at night he’s always wanted someone to rock him to sleep or now lay with him to go to sleep.  Those nights when I’m putting both kids to bed on my own can be a bit of a challenge these days, but I can usually get Max to stay in his room while I give Mila a bath and he will fall asleep by the time I’m done putting Mila to bed.

I never knew if I would ever have one child, let alone two. I still cannot believe that we were blessed with this miracle baby after I had given up, given in, that “this” just wasn’t in the cards for us.  As hard as it can be some days, I am drinking up every look, every coo, every grasp of my finger by her hand, and every hug Maxwell gives his baby sister.  Two is harder than one, but I’m much less nervous as a mom with Mila than I was with Max at that same age.  Whether a byproduct of our journey with infertility or multiple miscarriages, I carried the fear of loss with me for a very long time.  With Mila, most of that has finally passed and I am able to enjoy her in a way that is somehow easier, and filled with less paranoia and concern than I had with Maxwell.  As much as I’m trying to drink up every moment with Miss Mila (Miss Mi, Mimi, or Mila May as I also like to call her), but it’s hard not to be super excited to see who she will grow to become in the next few weeks, months and years.  I cannot wait to see what those twinkling blue eyes look like when she first walks, or see what seems to be curly hair grow out into little ringlets on her head.

I still can’t believe we are blessed with a little boy and a baby girl. This little boy who loves his sister so very much.  Maxwell hasn’t shown a trace of jealousy toward his sister, only love.  He cried when we told him Mila couldn’t sleep with him her first night home, and my biggest concern with him these days is just to make sure that he doesn’t squeeze Mila too hard when he hugs her.  Any time life seems overwhelming or I’m just exhausted, I look to them for inspiration and they remind me that all the tired moments are just temporary.

I can’t wait to see what adventures of Max & Mila have in store for us…